Rooms

My room is darker than when I last woke up in it.

 

In the miniature room where we simulate rain

The warmth of said obvious falsification makes me feel hugged;

Loved

Like the kind of hug that isn't "hello" or "goodbye" but seems to acknowledge a mutual need for care

I stay in the shower for 15 minutes

30 minutes

45 minutes

30 minutes?

I need this

45 minutes

Hours spent before the shower

Hours spent after

Doing nothing but laying in my bed

Under the covers

In a wet towel

Under the covers

 

I’m stuck between the escapism of pornography and the loneliness brought upon by it

Getting off is the easiest validation

But I want to be appreciated upstairs

In the solarium where the sun shines

In the living room where I don’t mind

If you change the channel

Or if you get the seat by the dog

Turn some music on and dance with me

I just want someone to want to be with me

In my head I've fallen in love over and over again

But in my arms only once 

I just want to do it a whole lot more 

So I can get used to it being over

 

I want to be hardened 

Like a weathered alcoholic who's seen the world and knows exactly what it has to offer

And that none of its really all that much 

I don't go to sleep until it's brighter outside than in

I don't wake up until it's dark again 

Keaton Goodman